April 08, 2005

One of Those Girls

All my life, I've wanted to be one of those girls who just seemed so centered and secure. They're pretty because they know they're pretty, and they're fun because they don't have to worry about themselves. I don't know what it is, really. It's so subtle. There's something about straight shoulders, a level chin, a quick step that tells the world that they like life, like people, and aren't preoccupied with whether or not anyone likes them or whether or not their life will be okay.

Anyway, I've decided to try an experiment. I'm going to see what happens if I act like one of those girls --- if I take on the quick smile and the firm voice and everything, maybe I'll have more direct interactions with my fellow human beings. And maybe my attitude will change, and I'll become one of those confident girls. Maybe.

I don't want to be fake. But I don't think I am. I think I'm actually showing people the real me, not the palatable, vanilla me.

I'm writing this post with the accompaniment of "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" by My Chemical Romance. Is that a bad sign?

Posted by jessica at April 8, 2005 01:50 PM