Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: "Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall." Luke 11:17
Thoughts of a divided kingdom... Is that what is keeping me awake? Jesus spoke the truth: "Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall." We cannot expect to see great things in life - in marriage - in ministry - if there is disunity.
I was asked an interesting question yesterday about a music ministry in which I am currently involved. A newspaper columnist asked, "Where do you see all this going?" How could I answer? Could I be honest? There isn't really disunity... okay, there is. We don't see eye to eye on where all this is headed. My partner says it's about "ministry," but all indications are that it's about chasing dreams. There is no real direction. It has all been about grabbing whatever comes our way. In addition, it has been about putting all the proceeds of CD sales into funding the "ministry" without expecting the Body of Christ to share in the expenses. Just because it is ministry doesn't mean it is supposed to be given away completely. My time is worth something. My talent is worth something. Why is my portion being used to fund their "ministry"? What about my own?
So, how did I answer? My partner didn't know exactly what to say. "Well... we (she and her husband) are working towards full-time ministry." I'm not really in their equation. They are going to chase the dream - using my portion of the dime, I might add. I took control of the conversation for a moment and said, "We are trying to seek what the Lord wants a step at a time. We are both working towards full-time ministry, but we realize that God may have called us together for a season. Eventually, we may be in separate ministries. The key is seeking the Lord's will with every new opportunity."
Was I wrong? The world doesn't look kindly at businesses that say, "Oh, eventually we are going to split up." But how could we say anything else?
Lord, I am really in turmoil over this. The opportunities that are before us are immense! But will the expectation be to do more and more without compensation? Maybe I wouldn't mind if it were more about saving souls and touching lives than it is about being noticed. The ministry side of all this has been exhilarating. The business side of this has been miserable.
I want to be used by You, Lord - not by someone else. How do I change things? How do I stop the train? Eventually, my music partner's kingdom will be ruined because there is no real unity - no common purpose that includes me. In the mean time, help me to be used to touch the Body of Christ - to draw others closer to You. Help me to fight the bitterness that could destroy me. Shape me in Your image.
Come, Lord Jesus!