Aaron replied to Moses, "Today they sacrificed their sin offering and their burnt offering before the Lord, but such things as this happened to me. Would the Lord have been pleased if I had eaten the sin offering today? Leviticus 10:19
What an awful day it must have been for Aaron. The joy of serving at the Tent of Meeting was decimated by the loss of his sons Nadab and Abihu, but he couldn't show it. Moses commanded that Aaron and his remaining sons carry on as if nothing had happened. To show outward signs of mourning would have brought further wrath from the presence of God.
From the outside, it seems that Aaron was cold - barely shaken by the deaths of Nadab and Abihu. But I believe it shook him to the core. This was serious stuff! Aaron knew it like no one else did. Aaron knew it like never before.
I'm surprised by Moses. He seemed to disregard his brother's predicament. He scolded Aaron for allowing the goat from the sin offering to burn up on the altar. But Aaron couldn't bring himself to eat it. The goat represented the sins of the leaders. He experienced firsthand what it was to sacrifice a sin offering; his sons were that sacrifice. How could he celebrate? Aaron paid a high price that day. The sacrifice was greater than he had expected.
Lord, keep my children from sinning against You and protect them from the sins of others. I don't think I could pay the price Aaron did. I long to see my children's children someday. Please, never let me experience a day like Aaron's. Keep my family safe from harm.
Let Your will be done.