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No More!

And you said, "The Lord our God has shown us his glory and his majesty, and we have heard his voice from the fire. Today we have seen that a man can live even if God speaks with him. But now, why should we die? This great fire will consume us, and we will die if we hear the voice of the Lord our God any longer." Deuteronomy 5:24-25

The glory and majesty of the Lord is great. How an I ever survive in the Presence? Like the Israelites, I grow weary from gazing at the Lord's glory and hearing His voice. How is it that I would ever choose to turn my eyes and ears toward the darkness and evil of this world?

Why is it, Lord, that I can only bear You for just so long? My heart is fickle. Your holiness is so great that I fear I will be consumed. One moment, I long to be consumed; the next moment I fear it.

Father, I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting the battle for holiness. I'm tired of this darkness that consumes my heart. If only You would consume me. It seems that every day I search for another reason to continue. What an existence it is to daily ask the question, "Why should I remain?" I seem to live my life more concerned about those I would disappoint if I were to leave. Why can I not live in the joy of what I offer the world rather than the misery, dwelling upon the harm I would cause by leaving it?

Jesus, I need a reason to stay - a reason that goes beyond family and friends. Lord, I need purpose. Or is that what Your purpose is all about? Family and friends? Joys and disappointments?

Consume me, Lord. Let me hear Your voice.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on June 29, 2004 4:45 AM.

The previous post in this blog was All Consuming Fire.

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