”Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.” John 17:34
One of the toughest struggles I have as a stereotypical “lost child” from a dysfunctional family is an insatiable desire to be wanted. This desire often drives me to live a life that is focused on the praise of man rather than the praise of God. Oddly, I don’t feel complete unless someone says, “I want you in my life.” Everything I do doesn’t feel finished unless someone says, “Hey! That’s great. You really did a good job.”
Without this affirmation from others, I can feel rejected, so I too often find myself doing whatever it takes to please. Actions other might call “codependent,” I simply can’t seem to shake; this need to be wanted has taken me places no man should ever go.
But there is One who truly wants me with Him no matter what I do. The only man to live a sinless life, who deserves all the glory, prayed for me to be with Him – to see His glory – to enjoy being in the Presence.
Father, chasing the world over the years has left me confused and lost. Being wanted by man pales in comparison to being wanted by You. Why have I ever wanted more than You? Forgive me for the ways I have pursued worldly affirmation. Forgive me for disregarding the affirmation You so willingly lavish upon me.
Jesus, I want to be with You, too.