But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. Psalm 3:3
I am my own worst enemy. Somehow along the way, I learned that in order to be of any value, perfection is required. This continual struggle with perfectionism is deeply rooted in my attempts to be noticed - in my attempts to no longer be the invisible man in the room.
Unfortunately, there is another lesson that has plagued me. After all this time, after recognizing God's protection and love, I am still afraid. The lesson I learned - right or wrong - is that safety is an illusion - that even the hand of God cannot keep me safe. I somehow believed the enemy's words. This lie, more than any other, has probably been my greatest hindrance. Since I was a child, voices have taunted me making me hide in fear.
Interestingly, there is one voice I hear most clearly as he cries out: "God will not deliver you!" This voice hasn't been that of a stranger. It has been my own.
Lord, You are a shield around me. Help me to see this truth with new clarity. Restore the years that have been stolen by fear. Help me to relearn this lesson from childhood. In Your miraculous mercy, help the little boy I was to no longer cower in fear. Give him eyes to see Your protecting hand, so the man I am can face the future with confidence. Protect me, Father. Shield me from things that harm. Lift up my head. Lift up my downcast soul, so You will be glorified.