The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:17
People have often told me that I am like David - a man after God's own heart. I'm not sure how I feel about this. What a compliment, but what a challenge!
Like David, my deepest desire is to glorify God. And unfortunately like David, I make lots of mistakes that are far from glorifying to Him. Sometimes I feel like I redefine the phrase, "We are all human."
God has blessed me with many talents, yet I have always struggled with how I see myself. I believe David struggled here as well. Although God's praise is far better that the praise of men, it can be devastating when others point out my faults. This is what happened to David. The prophet Nathan rebuked the king for his adultery, and he was completely devastated. The reality of his imperfection was a heavy burden to bear.
The biggest lesson I have learned from David in this is not about doing the right things - about staying on the path of the law, which would have kept him out of trouble in the first place. The biggest lesson I think I am learning is how to be broken - not by the words or actions of others, but broken by choice. When, in our pride, we cling to our free will choices to sin, death and devastation will result. But coming to God broken and contrite will only lead to life and healing.
Lord, for over forty years I have held on to my rights, my ability to choose what I want. This process of changing my choices - of willingly being broken - has been horrible and wonderful. How awesome it is to know that I will not be despised when I come to You. Put the pieces back together, Father. Teach me Your ways, so I might glorify You.