Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man. Psalm 112:4
For the unrighteous, darkness only leads to more darkness. But for those who seek the Lord, darkness is a doorway to light. Darkness has been my friend for far too long. The darkness of sin, the darkness of depression, the darkness of a hopeless existence - how have I come to know these so well?
I guess it doesn't really matter. What matters is where I go from here. Will I return to the dark corridors that have kept me trapped in a maze of despair? Or will I push through in a new direction? Over the years, I have learned to follow the paths that lead further into the darkness. Yet even those paths brought me to places that sustained me. This is a point that many Christians don't understand. Even I struggle to understand. How can I keep returning to dark places when the light lies right outside the door?
Why wouldn't I?
Seriously, would I not return to the only source of satisfaction and gratification I have ever known? A mouse who lives in a maze will return to his source of food simply because he knows where it is.
Lord, it's normally easy to have compassion for someone who simply doesn't know any better. Why can't I give myself the same consideration? For years, my routes of escape were all I knew. It's time to forgive. It's time to follow a different map.
Jesus, help me to see the light. Help me to seek out the Source. Sustain me along the way. I want to know Your ways. I want to know You.