I hate double-minded men, but I love your law. Psalm 119:113
Normally, the character traits that bother me the most in other people are the very things with which I struggle.
One thing I have little tolerance for is hypocrisy. I am not very patient with those who are double-minded - living two lives, one seen and one unseen. For so many years, that was my life. The wicked desires of my heart were so often hidden by a veneer of good works. Most would have been shocked if they knew what I would do when no one was looking - much less what I was thinking most the time.
I believe we all deal with this battle at some point in life, for secrecy is one of the enemy's greatest strategies. It appears as a friend promising safety and protection, holding keys in one hand and a sword in the other. With the keys, he opens the door to hidden places, worlds of fantasy and pleasure. Yet the sword in his other hand is not meant for our protection. When the moment is right, he swings the blade, cutting your heart in two. Oddly, both sides continue to beat. Somehow we learn to live with two hearts - with two minds.
Lord, I can't live the double life anymore. Since I cannot continue to hide, there seem to be only two options - to embrace the darkness or to run to the light. The ways of the enemy, the ways of darkness, only lead to death. Your way always leads to life. Mend my heart, so I might live freely in the light. Give me a single mind - a single heart. Let others see the man You intended. Continue to make me anew.