When Ahithophel saw that his advice had not been followed, he saddled his donkey and set out for his hometown. He put his house in order and then hanged himself. So he died and was buried in his father's tomb. 2 Samuel 17:23
Ahithophel was known as a wise man, an advisor to the king. Yet even the wisest among us can be revealed as a fool.
The choices Ahithophel made proved that he wasn't as wise as his reputation would suggest. He abandoned his post in King David's court to support Absalom in an attempt to take the throne. And at the first sign of Absalom's displeasure with his advice, Ahithophel went home and killed himself.
To be honest, the scene is pretty silly. Ahithophel traveled home, put his house in order, then hanged himself. Why does someone put his house in order before ending his life? Is he worried about what others might think of him? I think his final choice outweighs any other thought!
Interestingly, suicide has been on my mind a lot lately. A friend revealed to me a few days ago that he recently attempted to take his life - that he had put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Thankfully, in his altered state of mind, he forgot to take the safety off the gun. Before doing this, he took every step to put things in order - to ensure his death wouldn't be burdensome. But a tarp on the garage floor would never protect anyone from the mess he would have made of our hearts. Since then, he seems to be making wise choices. He is doing what he must to put his life in order - to heal from the pain that drove him to the edge. The whole incident has taught me something - that one's life is often judged by how it ends.
Lord, You know how much I have struggled in this life with thoughts of going over that edge. Yet something has happened. I can barely comprehend what matters enough to ever get to that point. I once understood the pain, but it seems so foreign now. Life is so much brighter than I realized. Help me to walk in this newness. Thank You for protecting my friend from himself. Thank You for giving me the strength to discount human opinion. Thank You for putting my house in order.