... hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord. 1 Corinthians 5:5
Am I the man I want to be? Far from it! Those closest to me know that too often I am a pessimist, a negative thinker, one who tends to take life too seriously, and a man who is not very capable of forgiving himself.
Am I proud of this? Not at all! For a man whose personality type is like an otter - wanting to have fun all the time, I'd like to be known as the friendly one, the life of the party. But within me, there seems to be this other man, the pessimist. And to be honest, I don't like him very much.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about a simple story I once heard, a story of a young Indian boy and his grandfather. One day the grandfather told the boy of the challenge it is to be a man. "Within myself," the grandfather said, "are two wolves - one good and one evil. These wolves are in a fierce fight trying to win over the other." Concerned the boy asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" Without hesitation the grandfather replied, "The one I feed."
So which do I feed? The pessimist? Or the optimist? The sinner? Or the saint?
In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul scolded the church for full acceptance - even pride over one in their midst who was sleeping with his father's wife. Without hesitation Paul advised them to hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed. There are times that the only way to overcome a sin is to suffer the consequence - to experience the pain - to starve it to death. Essentially, Paul is saying, "Don't feed the evil wolf."
Lord, I have always been afraid of the consequence, so it seems I have been content to allow this other man - the pessimist, the evil wolf - to feed himself, to grow stronger in me rather than weaker. Forgive me for clinging to my sinful nature like a frightened child clings to his mother. The desire of my sinful nature is destruction. How could I ever want him to remain in me?
Yet, here I am, facing the consequence of his action... of my action. Forgiveness from one, rejection from another. Help me to learn from these experiences. Help me to nurture the saint and starve the sinner.
Make me holy today.